Though I’ve been writing about determinations of parentage for months now, I’ve paid virtually no attention to adoption. It’s a notable omission because adoption is one of the most obvious and important ways in which people become legal parents. (I have written a bit about second parent adoptions, but they are really somewhat distinct.) Adoption is also important because people readily recognize adoptive parents as parents, even though they are not genetically connected to their children. Anyway, there is a story in today’s New York Times that spurs me to briefly touch on adoption here. (It obviously warrants more extended consideration, which I shall defer to a later time.)
The story is about current strains on adoption agencies caused by a confluence of events. These include some changes in the law governing international adoptions, various internal political developments in countries that have been the sources for adopted children, and general economic conditions. It’s a sad story on many levels, but what caught my attention was the response of one of the agency people. He said ,”No adoption agency can guarantee a couple a child.”
That’s probably an obvious truth, for people who have given this any thought. You could, of course, make the statement far more generally about becoming a parent. There are no guarantees. Pregnancies can and do go wrong, even at the last minute. Even after one becomes a parent, no child comes with guarantees. Every stage of parenthood is fraught with inevitable uncertainty.
Given the importance of children in the lives of parents and the importance of becoming a parent, this uncertainty is horrifying. And so people seek to minimize the uncertainty wherever possible and perhaps attempt strategic denial where it is not possible. All of which is to say that the desire for certainty is understandable, just as the reality of uncertainty is unbearable. Which, for the moment, leads me back to surrogacy.
Why? Because I think the preference for what I have called binding surrogacy is driven by this same desire to eliminate uncertainty. Binding a surrogate to her obligation, knowing that she can be compelled to turn over her child, eliminates this one element of uncertainty from the process of becoming a parent. It’s easy to see why an intending parent would incline towards binding surrogacy, were the option available.
This understandable preference isn’t dispositive, however. I’ve written at some length already about how much more complicated the question of surrogacy is. Recognizing the need for certainty doesn’t change my conclusion that binding surrogacy isn’t the best way to go. But as I turn away from binding surrogacy , I want to be to recognize the costs of doing so.
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